To avoid confrontations, it is very important to know how to express our opinions with respect and accept all those thoughts that do not coincide with our opinion, without altering or raising our voices. Throughout our history, both personal and social, we find ourselves surrounded by aggressive manifestations, be it wars, gender violence, family or couple discussions, among others. Can aggressive behavior be avoided?
Although it seems inevitable that you are surrounded by these situations, there are many ways to keep them away. The most important thing is to strengthen self-control, since it is key to pilot strong emotions in those moments that detonate them.
What can we do? What alternatives can we implement? This time we want to share some key recommendations that could help you.
However, keep in mind that these are only recommendations and that, therefore, they may not work to avoid aggressive behavior in yourself or in someone around you. If you or someone around you displays aggressive or violent behavior, it is best to go to a mental health professional for help.
How to avoid aggressive behavior: 6 tips
There are situations in which it is difficult to avoid aggressive behavior; however, when it does recur, it is important to think about it before it becomes the cause of more problems. Let’s see below some strategies to manage it.
1. Try not to argue strongly or fight
Many times we will be right on some issue, but getting to the fight situation or having a strong discussion does not mean that we will be able to solve something. Among other things, it may happen that each party becomes more entrenched in its position, instead of trying to negotiate or understand the other.
To do this, we can think first of all why we intend to fight, reach out to voices, insult, etc. And what consequences will all this have.
We have to keep in mind that, apart from aggressiveness, there are many other ways to achieve what we want, want or need, without having such disastrous consequences. Therefore, we will consider the possible alternatives, we will choose the one that suits us best, and we will put it into practice.
2. Self-control
It is good to be aware of what we feel, to know how to differentiate and not to let ourselves be carried away by the first impulse that we have, therefore, self-control techniques, such as a good use of breathing or relaxation, are effective in avoiding aggressive behavior.
How to do?
- Identify whether or not the situation presents a risk to us.
- Concentrate on the internal sensations, and if we believe that we can lose controlwe can resort to some techniques such as counting to 10 slowly, giving us a break.
3. Respond to jokes
We are often teased, and instead of reacting appropriately, we get angry or withdrawn. On these occasions, the interpretation we have made about the person who made the joke is negative, we believe that he wanted to annoy or ridicule us.
It may or may not be correct, but it is always appropriate to learn to react to these situations. The best thing to do in the face of humor is more humor or sympathetically ignoring what is said.
Therefore, we will identify the intention of the joke, think about how to fix it, and find an alternative to avoid aggressive behavior in response.
4. Convince others
Convincing someone does not mean forcing, but showing someone a way that we consider best to do things so that she voluntarily decides whether or not to follow our proposal.
For this, we have to teach the other the good things of what we propose, always with respect, and know how to accept that the other may not.
5. Negotiate
Negotiation is important when two or more parties have different opinions and cannot reach an agreement. Negotiating is reaching a common agreement for the parties, it is not arguing or fighting; in order to avoid aggressive behavior.
To negotiate with someone, it is very important to know what the other party thinks and feels. Furthermore, we do not have to try to impose our ideas by force, since we have to take into account the will of the other person.
In a negotiation process, both parties must express themselves out of respect, and listen to each other, and then reach an agreement that is beneficial to both of them.
6. Share and help others
All of us need help at some point in our lives, therefore, just as we receive, it is also very important to give to the other.
Not only can we help or share something when asked, but we can also do it when we realize that someone needs help or because we just feel predisposed to it.
Both have many benefits, they will make us and others feel better, we will improve our interpersonal relationships and we will surely get help when we need it.
Remember that what we have described here are just recommendations that may not serve you in a complicated situation of violence and / or aggressive behavior. So it is best if you go to a psychologist or psychiatrist for help if you have a problem that cannot be solved with this type of action.
To finish, a phrase by the American writer Napoleon Hill:
“Remember that each discussion has at least three points of view: yours, the others and those of others.”
